Love SMS

I have 4 words for you "Hol I Day Inn".

If I flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are of getting head?

If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait till you see my Wookie.

Is your name Summer? 'Cause you are as hot as hell.

Screw me if I'm wrong, but I could swear you were Julia Roberts.

The word of the day is "legs." Let's say we head back to your place and spread the word.

You've been a bad, bad girl (boy). Now go to my room!

Your Daddy must play the trumpet, cos he sure made me horny!

Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you with your clothes on?

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

I bet you $40 you're gonna turn me down.

I know that Milk does the body good, but wow, how much you been drinking?

I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.

I'm betting that you cannot wait until tomorrow, because I bet that you get more and more beautiful every day.

Save a horse, ride a cowboy.

Seriously honey, sex is like Pizza. Even if it bad, it still pretty darn good.

When I'm older, I'll look back at all of my crowning memories, and think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.

Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?

You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King: if you treat me right I'll do it your way

You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.

You know the Power company is looking for you coz you're so electrifying.

You know, I ain't this tall. I'm just sitting on my wallet.

You're like a Pringle. Once I pop ya, I just can't stop ya

As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ass? No. Damn!

I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes] Take me home with you.

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Do you have any Irish in you? (if no…) Would you like some? (if yes…) Want some more?

Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?

Do you have the time? [Gives the time] No, the time to write down my number?

Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow-job? [No!] Do you want to do lunch?

Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.

Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?

I'm a frog but if u kiss me I'll turn into a prince

Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.

Excuse me, I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend?

For a fat chick, you sure have small tits.

Gee, for a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.

Go up to a girl, ask her: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" She says no. Then wink.

Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.

Hi, I've been undressing you with my eyes all night long, and think it's time to see if I'm right.

Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, lets talk"

Nice dress, it'd look good on my bedroom floor

Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "Cause they're mine sweetheart."

I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.

I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!

If a women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You should answer: "Yeah! Do you have the energy?"

The only thing that matters is that we're together.

I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start. .

Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

Is you father a lumberjack Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.

I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.

Hey...somebody farted. Let's get out of here.

Say, did we go to different schools together?

The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

Wait until the end of the evening when everything is real hazy and alcohol soaked, walk up to someone you've never met and say, "Come on, we're leaving."

You see my friend over there? He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.

You know, you're very easy on the eyes...and very hard on my erection.

Want to come into the garden see my big juicy tomatoes?

Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers?

You are so beautiful that I would crawl ten miles on my hands and knees through broken glass just
to jerk off in your shadow.

Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?

Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.

I'm bigger and better than the Titanic ... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic

I'm good at maths, U+I=69

I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK

Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's.

Please help the homeless. Take me home with you...

Wanna come and see my Hard Drive? Babe, I promise you it ain't 3.5 inches and it sure ain't floppy.

What's a nice girl like you doing with a face like that?

Will you be my Xmas cracker? I'd really like to pull you.

Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?

You are a 9.999. Well, you'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me.

You're good at mathematics, right? Would you say 69 was a perfect square?

Your Daddy must have been a Baker, cos you got the nicest set of buns I've ever saw.

Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?

I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.

Grab yer bag Doll...you've just pulled...

I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest lady on earth tonight.

If beauty were an hour, you'd be a second.

There's just one thing your eyes haven't told me yet....you're name.

Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.